I grew up with bumps and bruises, scars and scabs, given to me by friends, family, teachers, and everyone that said they can help. I thought they were helping, just like everyone else was. These are some entries from those times, I'll be adding my own notes after each passage to go into depth about what was happening during those times. A current friend of mine told me to see how I've grown, and what I've learned from those past mistakes. I hope you enjoy it, I guess.

10/12/2008
I found this journal while my parents were at work the other day. I put it next to my bed so I could write on it before bed. My name is Noah, I'm turning 8 in February, and I like reading and writing. Last year for Christmas, my gran got me a Charles Dickens trilogy book. It had three of his books in one, it's a really good book, I love it so much. I can't wait till my parents give me money to run around while they have dinner next week. I like going to the bookstore and looking at all the different kinds of books. One time this lady that I think worked there asked me about my eyepatch, ma had thrown a bottle at my eye that morning and it was still big and puffy. I heard from this one book about pirates, so I told her I wanted to be a pirate when I get older. I don't, but I liked the idea of pirates. She left me alone after that.
I didn't know how many kinds of abuse there were. I didn't know their neglect and excessive drinking were abuse, but I also knew if I told people that, my parents would get in some kind of trouble, or maybe I was more worried that I would get in trouble with my parents. I missed mentioning that I wasn't exactly allowed to read and write. It cost too much money, they wouldn't come with me to the bookstore, and I'd save about 10 dollars to buy some food, then I'd hide the book in the bag. My parents stopped talking to my grandma and made her take the book back from me, she didn't, but I wasn't allowed to communicate with her until I moved out when I was 18. When we met again she handed me a box of books that she bought over the years for Christmas every year since we last spoke. I love her.

2/20/2009
It's my birthday. I invited my best friend Todd to celebrate with me. I'm so excited to have my favourite soup tonight. Usually, when Todd comes over he plays with me in my room, but maybe today we can play together. I hope so, it's really weird when he plays. But I hope my parents will let me get new pencils and paper. This new girl at school, Stacy, draws and was teaching me how to in class yesterday and I wanted to practice to show her I could. She's nice to me, but all my other friends say she's not a good person for me to be around, but I like her, so I want to hang out with her anyway. My birthday is going to be great though, I can't wait to see gran today, I might not, but maybe she'll come to my window to give me a book, or maybe some paper and pencils so I can draw with Stacy! I can't wait for my party! It's gonna be the best!
It wasn't the best, not until later did I learn that Todd wasn't "playing" with me, but was rather forcing me into sexual actions. My mother told me she didn't have the right ingredients for my soup, and that there would only be enough of the food she did make for three people. I went to bed hungry that night. My grandma never came, and I never got to practice for Stacy, but luckily we became great friends, and I still know her to this day. I'm lucky to know someone like her, and I'm even luckier to have ignored what my friends told me.

5/13/2009
I went to the bookshop with Stacy today, mom and dad let me hang out with her and do whatever we wanted as long as we didn't run away. It was great! Stacy showed me parts of the store I never knew existed. I never knew that if you go down the escalator or the elevator they have notebooks and pencils and pens. She also showed me the manga section. It was so cool to actually see what the artist wanted the viewer to see in their mind. I got this one book for a series called "Fruits Basket," which is apparently Stacy's favourite manga to read. I also got 2 volumes for the "Hunter x Hunter" series, which I'm really liking so far. I also drew with her a bit while she waited for her parents. I think my parent's forgotten about me because her mom came back to pick me up and I spent the night at her house. It was nice, we kept drawing through the night, her mom made this delicious tomato soup and grilled cheese, it was really nice. They said they'll bring me home in the morning. I can't wait to have breakfast in the morning with them!
I didn't have breakfast with them. My mom busted in at midnight and dragged me home. I forgot my books and stuff, I was scared she'd get mad at me for having the books and beat me right there and then, and I didn't want to do that, not in front of Stacy and her mom. I remember the car was moving too fast as we drove home as she yelled at me for not waiting for her, I felt awful. I was told I couldn't go to Stacy's house anymore, but luckily for me, Stacy would bring some of her mom's food to me for lunch, I normally just sat there doing nothing. She was my first friend, and my "friend's" first enemy.

9/27/2009
Stacy noticed that my bruises looked like fingers, she noticed the glass in my pocket from when mom hit me with one this morning, and she noticed that I had matted hair. I normally had a club after school on Wednesdays, but instead, Stacy brought me to her house so I could take a quick shower, clean the blood out of my hair, and cover all my wounds with bandages. She didn't ask questions, she didn't even tell her mom, and when she was done, she had her mom drop me off back at school so my mom wouldn't be mad again. She gave me the next volume of that Fruits Basket, and didn't ask anything further. I never knew being washed could feel so freeing. I'll have to ask mom if I could do it at our house sometime.
A part of me wishes she asked something, or that her mom did, but now I know why she didn't, she knew way more than I did. When her father got CPS called on him, both her parents had to go to court, and she had to live in a place that she was less than fond of being in, both she and her mom knew what would happen if they said anything, I would have to be in there longer than her as well, because my mom nor my dad would come back to pick me up. I have to thank them for that. She saved me time and time again, just by being a friend I could count on, and I thank her for that.

12/15/2009
Christmas is almost here. Mom let me spend it with Stacy and her mom this year because my parents are visiting an old friend of theirs in Florida and didn't have the money to pay for another ticket, so just this once they let me stay over with Stacy. Hopefully, they don't come back this time with a new baby like last time, it was scary to see my mom go through that, she would tell me about how that's what happened when I was in her belly, or when the baby was born and died about a month or so later. I didn't like watching it decay. But I'm still so happy that I get to spend the holidays with Stacy and her mom. My dad said they likely won't be back till maybe February, I don't know if they were thinking of it, but that's also my birthday, I don't know if they'll be back for my birthday, or after, but either way, it makes me happy that it'll be near my birthday at least. So yay!
I've never been more proud to say that Stacy's mom took that time of my parent's being gone so long to start getting me out of my parent's life and living with them instead. That was my Christmas present from them and my parents, Stacy's mother, Joyce, used my injuries and all the dead babies as evidence of their mistreatment and abuse. They got put in jail, and I spent no time at all in the bad place. So here I am now, still recovering from the scars, and only partial blindness in my left eye. Without them, I'd probably be dead now from neglect and physical abuse. I have my life to thank them for. And I'll be dedicating every last second to them.