I didn't mean to watch her walk by the other day, she just happened to be right were I was looking, and it just happened to be that I was looking at the star crocheted on her chest. But I never intended to watch her. Her short dark brown hair with streaks of pink through her whole head, up in tiny pigtails tied together with orange flower ties just happened to pass by my line of sight. Her cute dance when she's excited or happy consisting of jumping, swaying side to side with each leap, just happened to catch my perifferal vision and made me look in her way.

I wish I had never broken up with her. In my past, I have been in relationships I didn't know I was in, constantly being overbearing and controling. She was never like that, but she frightened me, and I wish I had told her instead of just leaving her all together. She began being demanding of my time with our friends, it scared me to think she could turn into them. I kept it to myself, a mistake I still regret, and tried to ween off our relationship so it wouldn't hurt her as much when breaking up with her, but it hurt me more.

I miss her, more than I can explain. I love her now the same as when we first got together, maybe even more. I keep my distance, I'm scared I'll hurt her more, if I had told her more instead of just giving up, I fear I would finally see killing myself as an impossible task rather than a daily possibility.